Squirrel Reflections

squirrel tantraThere are three small dead squirrels lying on the sidewalk around the corner from my house. Actually one looks really dead and the other two are breathing but we can tell that dead is where they’re heading. My housemate is an obsessive lover of animals; I’m afraid she’ll come out walking the dog and want to save the squirrels or see them and freak out.

I think about the latest environmental bellweather about bees dying; are now squirrels falling out of trees? They are clearly baby squirrels, which I have never seen before, like where do baby squirrels live until they are large enough to shimmy up my bird feeders or eat all the tomatoes from the garden or hurl themselves against the window when I have suet out in the winter?

The woman I’m walking with who is young, pansexual and wearing a nose ring says we need to kill them, which I am sure I am not prepared to do so I go up to the neighbors house and Clyde is home and he comes out to look and the first thing he says is he’ll kill them and take care of it which is interesting to me in that “would every guy say that straightaway”? Definitely not the first place I went. And then he reminds me that they may be babies without a mother and I remember that he has been trapping squirrels and letting them go at the Chart House, an upscale restaurant with a view up the road from our house.

I didn’t want to linger. And I do. [Read more…]

On Paying Attention

Am I? Are you? Really? I’ve been guilty of speed reading recipes. Something goes in the oven and I realize I’ve skimmed over some essential ingredient. Or reading an email from a lover and missing the whole context of the note until I reread, after spending countless hours on some fixated emotional firestorm that ate up all the space in my body. Reminded again this morning after reading a piece from this too prolific blog poster (can you tell I’m envious, even jealous), Jen Pastiloff. In the past week she reposted a devastatingly intense piece from a woman who struggles with an addiction to Kloponin, which moved her to repost an earlier piece detailing  Jen’s work with clients at a rehab facility and an ectopic pregnancy that she went through. In short order she received responses with grave concern about HER addiction, that SHE was a client in rehab and congratulations on her pregnancy without looking up that an ectopic pregnancy is never viable or even what that is.

[Read more…]

Cultivating happy relationships and finding dishsoap….

I was interviewed by a very sweet man and woman who are in the process of a launching a six week tele-class. If you’ve read some of my earlier writings, you may know that I have somewhat of an aversion to the proliferation of tele-classes. And while I respect anyone that gets it together to sincerely put their message in the world, there’s just, well, so much out there. It’s like going to the grocery store in the U.S. Case in point. I went to get dishwashing liquid a few weeks ago and the number of choices amid the different types of soap were staggering. Not wanting to linger, I grabbed one that had the key phrase ‘eco’ on it. So now my whole household had been complaining “this smells like bleach. No, really, it smells like bleach”. Finally, I look at the label and it does indeed contain bleach, AND it is for the dishwasher, AND it will fuck up your hands if you use it for handwashing, which we all have been doing and I’m wondering why my hands are so fucked up. Now I realize I have culpability. I should have read the label. But I was quite frankly inundated. I just wanted the darn dishsoap. Which is my way of saying, in the world of dish soap and telec-lasses, there is soooooo much out there, how does one choose? What criteria exists? And tele-classes aren’t cheap. For men and women who feel some sort of desperation or frustration around their personal and sexual issues, dropping $400 to way, way more cash in the hopes of – pick one: [Read more…]


There is a profound little book, “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. This book delineates that Resistance is the true enemy of ALL artists, writers, entrepreneurs and spiritual seekers. All of us who ‘want’ to start doing yoga, lose weight, leave a relationship, leave a job or commit to any political, moral or ethical endeavor, or change for the better some unworthy thought pattern or conduct in ourselves. This morning, I have: watered the plants, made broccoli parmesan, pulled some weeds, got grouchy at my partner for not following through on a personal commitment that had nothing to do with me, put dishes away, waxed eloquent about ‘other’ peoples lives and what they could be doing, and read emails. I’m sure there’s more. All this in the spirit of resistance. To forestall sitting at this blank page, any blank page, to deepen my path and commit to writing. To dive into what is the expression of my personal voice, to bring forth the genius in me, the genius that is in each of us. [Read more…]