From where I’m sitting on the toilet, if I turn my head right, I see the floor of my shower. There’s a spider. Hanging out on the floor of the shower.
Hey, it’s a pandemic. My mind most likely noticed him for a nanosecond. Then the “How am I saving my own ass? Or my family’s? Or my really good friends?, took precedence over all else. Clearly, a spider was not on that list.
I’m usually on it, escorting small insects to a more harmonious landscape outside, rescuing them from the inhospitable molded plastic of the shower kit.
Day 2. Head turned right, he’s still there. Did I think he was gonna walk himself out and open the back door? Or slither down the shower drain to some sophisticated spider emergency shelter where he would be welcomed by his friends?
“Dude, where you been?”
Or from his aging mother. “I was worried sick about you! And your 1500 brothers and sisters were, too!”
Day 3. Yes, I sit on the toilet regularly. Maybe I should ask my housemate to take him outside?
Side note: my housemate is cis-male, Has the pandemic slammed me back into some weird ass gender roles? “Oh, please. Please take care of the scary spider?!”
I still do nothing.
Here’s the deal. I’m a bath person. Showering once or twice a week to wash my hair is about all I can muster when I consider warm water on my body. So yeah, there didn’t seem to be an imperative to act on this spider.
The point of this story. I wanted to wash my hair today and some time after my first lather I glanced down past my left shoulder, and there he was. Crumpled. Did I even turn off the water and confirm that he was a goner? Nope, finished washing my hair, wrapped myself in a towel and..
OOMPH
What else am I avoiding in this time? What am I attending to that is so important that I can’t make that call, complete that donation, check in on a neighbor, open my heart into possibly difficult conversations?
I ignored a tiny life form. It would have been so easy to save that one life.
What about you?
It’s the human condition that perhaps led you to ignore the spider, hard to say. I’d venture the spider was there for your benefit, a companion of sorts trying to provoke your thoughts. The pandemic has disrupted who & what we are, ignoring the spider and concentrating on yourself was not intentional, more like self preservation if you ask me.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, Don. Best to you in all things. Anna
I read this as a simple interpretation that at the time you were ungrounded, or perhaps feeling unbalanced in life. Spiders represent great balance as they dance on the fibers of their web. You were maybe needing a reminder to stay in the present moment. Perhaps fear had unrooted you.
Of course. Thank you.
Eating our curds and whey becomes a full time effort, nay distraction- Miss Muffet ran away but you dear Anna sat down beside her 💕